LOS ANGELES – Fearing he may come across a spoiler, local man Albert Lowrey is staying off social media for all of Columbus Day. “Until I see the movie, I just can’t take the chance of seeing a post that will spoil it,” said Lowrey.

“I went to public school, so of course I know the basic details… Columbus came up with the idea that the Earth is round, which would mean a quicker trade route was possible to India. I’m just going to go out on a limb here and guess that he succeeds, otherwise why are we celebrating him? But I don’t know the details around exactly how he accomplishes this and I’d rather not know before I see the movie”

Lowrey admits there is not a whole lot to be spoiled, but he doesn’t want to take any chances. “Its not like there is going to be some crazy plot twist, like Columbus turns out to be a mass murderer… and still gets a federal holiday in his name? Yeah, right!”

As of press time, Lowrey has no immediate plans to see either of the 1994 Columbus films and suspects it is quite possible he will have to avoid social media on Columbus Day 2018 as well.